I Wish For You

I Wish For You
By: Jessica Andrews

Time goes by so fast, and days they seem to dance
Into the distance till they're gone
If I had a map, to lead you down life's path
I'd give it to you, But I don't
So go on

Cry hard, laugh loud
Be humble, stand proud
And don't be afraid of your fears
Let love break your heart
Just be who you are
All of this
All that there is
I wish for you

You can never know which way your world will turn
How the stars are gonna fall
Salty tears they burn
There are lessons you will learn
But you'll be stronger for it all
Oh, yes you will

Cry hard, laugh loud
Be humble, stand proud
Hold onto your faith with all your heart
Be careful, Be brave
Be still, but don't stay
In any one place for too long
Remember God's grace
Give more than you take
All of this
All that there is
I wish for you

Weekend Seclusion

Friday night I ventured to Vevay, Indiana again...where everyone knows everyone, and where I have no cell phone reception (nice). :)

It was kind of nice to just get away, hang with one of my best buds (Casie), and not worry about what parties or social functions I was missing back home. We made our own schedule, and had some good old fashioned small-town fun. We went to Vevay's Annual Swiss Wine Festival, and it was exactly what you envision a small-town festival to be. It was funnel cakes and face painting, country music and corn on the cobb; crafts and carnival rides, and fireworks over the river. We watched a parade down main street, and I even got to judge the cheerleading competition! What fun!

Today, back to reality...but only for 3 days. Thursday it's off to Destin, and I can't wait! If anyone needs me, i'll be somewhere asleep in the sand...

There's God

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding..."
Proverbs 3:5

Sometimes in life we have what my pastor, Andy Stanley, likes to call "Where's God" moments. Moments when you look at a situation, and wonder how in the world God could let something like that happen. I'm sure many of my friends, as well as tons of people in the Atlanta area have felt caught in the midst of a "Where's God" moment this past week, as we watched a tragedy unfold right before our eyes. I was shocked when I got a text early Wednesday morning that a friend's mom, Jenny Ewing was missing. I immediately began to pray that she would be found, but as the hours wore on, I feared the worst.

When I heard word that her body had been found, I was horrified...and my mind instantly flashed back to a similar scene, when I mourned the death of two coworkers and friends, Lori Brown and Cindy Williams, who were brutally murdered in a random act of violence just three years ago. It's so easy to look at both of these situations and think..."God, where were you when this was happening? Where were you when these families' foundations were rocked to the core?"

As I sat in Jenny's memorial service on Monday, I was surrounded by "There's God" moments. I sat among hundreds and hundreds of people who were impacted by the life of this woman, and the events that led up to her glorious journey home...there's God.

I watched as one by one, her children, family and friends painted the picture of a woman who was a light to all who crossed her path. An incredible wife, mother, friend and servant of the Lord who left a legacy that many can only hope to acheive in a lifetime...there's God.

Jimmy said his mother always told him that the enemy attacks those who are a threat. This is so true. But over the past week, we have watched this family stand firm - firm in their committment to each other, and firm in their refusal to let the enemy get a stronghold on them...there's God.

It was just two weeks ago that Voddie Baucham spoke of his own family. With tears in his eyes, he said that every couple should live their lives and raise their children up so that when they are gone, their children are the missles that they fire out into the world to continue the fight against Satan, and to spread God's word far and wide. It is evident in the lives and actions of her children that Jenny exemplified this principle.

Also at the memorial, their family pastor read from Proverbs 31, of what a Godly woman should look like. Instead of being sad, I walked away from the service moved and humbled to hear the story of a woman who's life embodied this very description...

"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain....Strenght and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue...Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her saying: many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all."

I am inspired and ever so humbled...There's God.


Bigger Than Me
By: Amanda Bailey

I'll admit I like to win
and hear a 'that a girl' every now and then
a pat on the back, a compliment, feels ok

I'd like to see my name in lights
and I'd like to sail my ship into paradise
I want things that sparkle and shine
but glitter fades

And at the end of the day
I want to hear them say
she gives more than she takes

Cause there is something bigger than me
How will they remember me?
Did I laugh enough?
Did I give, did I love?
Did I make an offering...to something that is bigger than me

I could quickly make a list
of this or that I need to bring me happiness
I'd like to be the best of the best at anything

But is it wisdom or age
experience or grace
that helps me find my way

To something that is bigger than me
and what I want the world to see
is it beauty from within
that only comes when I give unselfishly
to something that is bigger than me

Let the sun shine down on me
Let the wind blow soft upon my skin
Let the rain wash my fears away
Let me live if only just to live for something that is bigger than me

A love, a light, a legacy
I look in my daughter's eyes, I know I leave behind
A reason to believe
in something that is bigger than me

Home Sweet Home

This past Saturday afternoon was wonderful...I chilled at home. And by home, I don't mean Dunwoody - I mean H-O-M-E...where my parents are, where I grew up, and where I have all of my fond memories from the last 18 years.

Casie came with me - we went to hang with my parents and see my little nephew they were keeping for the day. She and I relaxed out on the front porch swing, and I remembered all those lazy summer days when I used to spend hours on that swing - writing, making up songs in my head and daydreaming about anything and everything. That little corner of the porch was my haven - my hideaway; it was my space that I claimed in the house. I camped out there on rainy days, wrote so many poems and stories, and when I was older, even had a first kiss there. Casie and I sat there and tried to remember what life was like before cell phones and boys, work and stress and responsibility... days when we could daydream about being a fairy princess rescued by her prince, and believed that one day we would live in a castle filled with anything we could ever want. I began to long for the days when all I had to worry about was what time Saved by the Bell came on, and which friend was going to come spend the night so we could stay up gabbing 'till the wee hours of the morning, ingesting every calorie in the pantry like we had the metabolism of a tapeworm and not thinking twice about it.

In the true spirit of reminiscence, we decided to "fast" from our cell phones. I did something that I haven't done since probably my freshman year in college, I (gasp) turned my phone completely off. And so did she. We hopped in the car and drove around the neighborhood to find a garage sale that we saw a sign for when we pulled in. As we drove around the block, I remembered it like the back of my hand...I pointed out where the bus used to stop for all my friends, the house of a boy I had a secret crush on, and all the neighborhood kids I used to babysit for. After some vintage record purchases (records.....do you remember them? I used to love to listen to my parents old 45's!), we headed out to eat lunch with the family. What a perfect day.

My head may be in a million places sometimes, but home is definitely where my heart is. :o)

Patience, Grasshopper...Patience

Isn't it so cool how God uses so many different avenues to speak to us? Here's my "God moment" for today...

Just last night I was talking with a friend about how lately I have felt conflicted, or maybe frustrated (for lack of a better word). I have been struggling with direction, and where the "next steps" should be in my life, mainly regarding career, but also touching on a few other areas as well. I knew a year ago when I accepted the position that I am currently in, that it was merely a "transitional" job; one that will add skillsets that I will need in the future, but ultimately serve as a stepping stone towards wherever it is God is leading me down the road. The uncertainty now comes in the question of "how long do I stay here, and where do I go next when the time is right?"

I am not one who likes to be complacent in a spot where I know I could be doing/learning/acheiving more. However, I also know that if God has ingrained nothing else in my head and heart over the past several years, He has continually challenged me with mastering the art of patience. In every aspect of my life, from dating to career to finances, to basically everything, the central recurring theme He has shown me has been wait. Yes, the four letter word that strikes fear in the heart of every Christian...W-A-I-T. But how do you make sure that your "patience" doesn't become "complacency"? As a child of the "microwave generation," its so easy to want something or to set a goal, and expect to have it immediately. I set my own timeline, hand it to God and say "ok Big G, here's what I want...why don't you see what you can do to make it happen in the next 30 days..mmmkay?" Uh...yeah, im sure (as ive learned the hard way in the past) God is probably taking one glance at my timeline and laughing hysterically. In one of my favorite books by John Ortberg, "If You Want To Walk On Water, You've Got To Get Out Of The Boat," he wrote something that stuck with me: "For good reasons, God does not always move at our frantic pace. We are too often double espresso followers of a decaf Sovereign." And he is so right. On the front end, we see something we want, or we discover a passion for something that God has placed in our hearts, and we wonder why we can't have it now. But on the back end, God is telling us to wait - maybe because we're not ready for it yet, maybe because He's still building the framework to make it happen, or maybe some other reason that we'll never know. But whatever the reason, He knows my whole story and He knows how the book ends, so shouldn't I trust that He knows which chapters to build everything into? Easier said than done.

I was that kid that used to beg my mom to let me open one, just one present before my birthday. I was sure that if I could have just one thing early that I would be content until my birthday got there. Wrong. One year she actually let me do it. I can remember opening that pink Barbie umbrella and being elated because I had pointed that out to her in the store months before. But I can also remember that the excitement lasted all of about an hour. After that I was dying to know what was in the other boxes...if I got one of the little things I wanted, there was no telling what else I might get..the possibilities were endless! I'm sure I pestered her until she was ready to tape my mouth shut that year, because I never got to open another gift early. On that same note, God doesn't give us things before we're ready because He knows we'll just be that impatient little kid who will never be content.

Back to the patience/complacency debate...as I said, ive been struggling with knowing that this role that I am in is only temporary. I'm good at what I do, I work hard to make sure of that, but while I do constantly learn things, I don't feel like I am being continually challenged. I know that I am capable of doing much more than what is in my job description. This is where I find my conflict. I've tried to be still and just listen to God - to figure out whether I need to continue to be patient as He prepares me for the next step in my life, or is it time for me to seek out a new challenge where I feel I can learn/do/be more? I've repeatedly asked myself (and God) why I am still in this role that I feel is holding me back from reaching my full potential?

Enter God stage left...

So last night, I just laid it out to God - talked to Him like we were chit-chatting over coffee. I told Him, "God, I'm confused. I don't know why I am still where I am, and I don't know when or where I am supposed to go next...you're gonna need to give me some directions here, i'm feeling a little lost, and a little bit like im spinning my wheels." Earlier in the night, I had told my friend that I feel like im ready for a next step, but that I kind of felt like maybe God is telling me to wait just a little bit longer, but im not really sure. I prayed for clarity and direction.

Ironically, expecting it to be a while before I got an answer (probably another test of patience), I got a little more insight today. (how fast!) I have a box sitting on my desk of daily devotionals - on one side it has a bible verse, and the opposite has a prayer for the day. I pulled out my devotional for today and here was the verse:

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come."
-II Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

And then I turned it over and read my prayer for today:

"O Lord, help me to understand the reasons for your chastening."

If you're like me, the definition that comes to mind of chastening is to hold back. I decided to look up the actual definition of the word. And as I thought, the first definition was along those lines.

Chasten: 1. to restrain; subdue

But then I read the second definition that was listed:

Chasten: 2. To rid of excess; refine or purify

Ahhh. Ok God, I get ya - you're coming in loud and clear. So many times we mistake God's timing as restraining us from reaching our full potential, when in all reality He's still doing a little refining "behind the scenes" to prepare us for what's ahead. I feel that my intuitions for (gasp) waiting just a little longer are right on...I don't understand at the moment exactly why, but I know He will reveal it to me in time, and I know that He will open those doors for me when He knows I'm ready, not when I think I am.

Ode to Casie

It's never a dull moment at the castle.....the "JC Castle", that is!

Ok so yes, we named our apartment, we're dorks....what else can I say? But maybe the fact that we're just cheesy like that plays into why we constantly have so much fun, and why I absolutely adore my new roommate! Casie, I love your guts...this shout-out's for you!

Now i'll admit, I had quite a few reservations about getting a roommate. In fact, I didn't want one. I was very content living by myself, as I have for the past four and a half years. I've come to enjoy having "my space" (and no, I'm not referring to MySpace, that's a whole different blog for another time, one that will probably be titled "senseless addictions I should probably purge from my life, but im too hooked to let go of..." haha). Having just settled into my new place back in March, getting a roommate was not really on the agenda. Then I met Casie, We became instant friends, and randomly decided to take a road trip to Indiana together, where we had the absolute best time! We decided that we had so much fun, why not do it all the time, and save money too! :o)

Life with Casie, so far, has never been dull. Since she is a lazy teacher and home for the summer, I never know what im going to find her up to when I get home. Monday I came home to find that she had hung a shelf in her room - but the story can't be that simple. The shelf was slanted so far, I dont know how her frames stayed on it - and so were the mirrors that she permanently stuck to the wall behind it...she proceeded to remove them (and part of the sheetrock) with Windex, so that she could straighten them up, and put more holes in the wall to fix the shelf. Needless to say, we were laughing our heads off, and she is no longer allowed to do any decorating in the apartment without direct supervision from me. :)

And to add to the fun, here's part of our conversation while she pushed me around in the buggy (er, I mean "cart"...sorry Casie!) at Target the other day. (yes, you read right, she pushed me around like I was a 5 year old kid...we got a lot of weird stares, but it was fun! :)

Casie: (looking at a dog carrier bag) "Ooh, look how cute this bag is! I have to have it for my dog!"

Jamie: "Uh, Casie...you don't have a dog"

Casie: "Oh yeah..."

Since im a fan of top 10 lists (they're so much fun), here's a list of my top 10 reasons why I love my roomie:

10. We are in each other's space almost 24/7, and have yet to get sick of each other!
9. When either of us is down, we know just what to do to cheer the other one up.....go shopping!
8. You just never know what random comment is going to come out of that girl's mouth at any given time, and it usually makes me laugh my butt off.
7. She loves double cheeseburgers as much as me, and we've been known to venture out in the middle of the night just to satisfy a craving....(we suck, dont we Cas?)
6. She's the best hairbrush singer I know.
5. She has the coolest family ever!
4. She will chase a bug into the hallway, but make me kill it with her shoe.
3. I come home for lunch, and she's still in the clothes she wore yesterday, and just woke up (ahh the life of a teacher, haha)
2. She picked up and moved from small town Indiana to Atl answering the call of God to be involved at NPCC - the girl has such a passion for Jesus, it's incredible! She's on fire for God and it shows in all she does. I truly admire her passionate spirit.

And the number one reason I love my roomie is:

1. Saturday mornings when we sleep late, she'll plop down in my bed and we giggle like we're 14 again while we talk about everything in the world, and plan another exciting weekend - it's a neverending slumber party!

Casie, you've made it to my Blog Wall Of Fame...feel special, 'cause you certainly are in my book - i'm so glad we're friends, and even more glad that we're roomates!

How great is our God!

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast."
-Psalms 139:8-10

Tonight I tried to see just how far the far side of the sea is...and it's impossible. As I went for a walk on the beach this evening at dusk, and stood on the shore underneath the most gorgeous full moon i've ever seen, I strained my eyes to see how far I could possibly see... to catch a glimpse of what? I'm not quite sure. But what blows my mind is the fact that even though I can't see beyond the scope of the human eye, God can. He can do the impossible - He can see the farthest side of the sea, the heavens and everything in between, and doesn't even bat an eyelash doing so. He also sees the depths of my heart, and still showers me with grace, in spite of myself. Great is His faithfulness!
You're the name above all names
You are worthy of all praise
And my heart will sing
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD...

On the road again...

This time I flew solo...and it was fantastic! I love half-day Friday's at work!

After sneaking out of work at an astonishing 11:30am (a feat I rarely get to conquer), and having a great lunch (while meeting new friends!), I packed my bags and hit the road for South Carolina...a quick road trip to Hilton Head to spend some quality time with the family for the weekend. Since my parents and siblings were able to take off more work days than me, they were already at the condo - so I drove down alone. There's nothing better than being able to just take some time to close my mouth, open my eyes and ears, and bask in God's unyielding beautiful design in the landscapes all around me.

Apparently I was soaking in His glory a little too fast...or at least that's what my $180 speeding ticket concluded...oops.

Go figure that I drive 90 all the way there, and in the last 40 miles I get a ticket for going 75 in what I thought was a 70 mph zone (which actually turned out to be 60mph). Me and my stinking lead foot...oh well.

But even the speeding ticket couldn't put a damper on what was otherwise a fabulous drive. I just allowed myself to relax and try to clear my mind of all the clutter that has been my daily grind. Reeling in the warmth from the sun as I cruised with the top down, I turned my radio up and belted praise & worship music out at the top of my lungs, not even caring if I was on key! What a beautiful day to enjoy all the gifts God puts on display for us!

I'm here, and now after smothering my nephew in kisses (even though he's grumpy tonight and won't go to anyone but my dad), and spending a little time catching up, im off to go sleep with NO alarm clocks set for the morning! Tomorrow will be a nice relaxing day filled with napping, snoozing, oh and maybe a little relaxing. ;o)

Keep smiling...it makes people wonder what you're up to

Don't you just love it when your day gets off to a great start? It makes everything just that much better...

Today is a good day. I woke up on time (a rarity), and even had time to fix a cup of coffee on the way out. I hopped in the car, put the top down, and hit 11 of 13 lights green to make it to the office in record time (which also never happens). I settle in at my cube with my cup of coffee, and was elated to find out that my newest toy, my iTrip, will actually work on my little dinky radio that sits on my desk. Oh yes, I am quite content for the rest of the day knowing that my entire music collection is now at my fingertips all day long...my music can sometimes be my saving grace on stressful days - it calms me down, or revs me up when needed!

It doesn't even matter that some irate customer found his way to my phone line this morning and complained to me not once, not twice, but on THREE separate calls! For the record, I cannot activate/fix/repair/replace your phone...I just work in Human Resources for crying out loud people! haha. But it's ok - Mr. Groucho still didn't kill the happiness buzz that I have today.

Besides, his grumpiness was cancelled out when I went home for lunch and met Nate the Mailman, who was incredibly pleasant and overwhelmingly friendly. He took the time to learn my name so that he could put a face with the mail he was delivering, and apologized for only having junk mail to give me today. I told him I would rather get junk mail than more bills, but if he wanted to bring me a big fat check for a million dollars, or Mr. Right wrapped up in a nice little package, I would gladly accept them as well! He said he'd see what he can do. ;o)

Back at the office, my boss has left early for a weekend getaway, so I have a little bit of peace to catch up on the things I need to accomplish before I head out early tomorrow. I'm so excited, to only have to work 1/2 day tomorrow first of all, but also because im spending the whole weekend with my parents, sisters, brother-in-law and adorable nephew down in Hilton Head! It has been eeons since we've all been able to get away together, and im looking forward to the relaxation time just hanging with the family and enjoying their company. I'm driving down by myself, but im all set - I'll put the top down, my hat on, crank up Iggy (the iPod) and take some time to just breathe, soak in the solace of isolation, talk to God and maybe practice belting out a tune or two where noone can hear me mess up as I learn a new song. :)

Tonight...even better, dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday - sure to be filled with good food, conversation, and great fellowship! What a perfect end to a perfect day!

"Be happy, it's one way of being wise." -Colette

Memorial Day Mischief

Ahh...there's nothing quite like 4 days of friends, fun and sunburn all around!

As you know from previous blog posts, I LOVE a good road trip - and this weekend certainly qualified in my top 5. Our trip got off to a little bit of a slow start, taking us almost 2 hours to get out of Atlanta...gotta love that holiday traffic! I guess everyone and their brother (and their brother's brother for that matter) had the same idea as us...get outta town! But have no fear, we had plenty of iPods to keep us entertained while we sat in the parking lot we affectionately refer to as GA 400. About 7 hours and 200 girlie song selections later, we finally pulled into Destin. Poor Mark, he never had a chance to play iPod DJ with 3 females overruling him in the car. Needless to say, this is what he looked like after listening to our "chick music" for what must have felt like an eternity...


And wouldn't you know it, we got in trouble TWICE in the first hour that we were there! First, Kristin, Leah and a few of the other girls decided they wanted to go for a night swim...even though the pool was closed, and the gates were locked. They scaled the fence and hopped on in. Little did they know that there were security cameras all around the property, and before their fingers and toes could even begin to prune, a security guard came running out threatening to call the police! The girls shimmied back over that fence quicker than you could say trouble. Then just as all 16 of us decided to chill out, chat and enjoy the view on the guys' balcony, we get a knock at the door from security that we are being too loud and we have to move the party inside. Oops!

The majority of our days were spent lounging in the beautiful sand or at the pool, with a few volleyball games and a guys' golf outing thrown in the mix. Lesson learned: don't lather up in SPF 30, float around in the pool for 4 hours, THEN look to see if your sunscreen is waterproof (which it wasn't). Needless to say, aloe became our good friend. We filled the evenings with fun dinners out, and of course what trip would be complete without a little dancing thrown into the mix? Saturday night was dinner at Red Bar, and Sunday after dinner at Back Porch we hit up Baytown for some fun booty shakin', rolling back into the condo at about 3am. By the time we headed for home on Monday, we were burnt and tired, but it was well worth it. Fun times had by all!

And now, in true Letterman fashion, I will present to you the Top 10 Reasons I loved this weekend:

10. You CAN freeze to death at the beach in May...condo thermostats are posessed.
9. Surprise mystery guests are fun!
8. Ten girls in two bathrooms can get ready faster than 8 lazy boys.
7. Betsy can sweet talk her way to getting just about anything she wants (just ask the bouncer at Baytown!)
6. Go Kart races are fun, but you'll always catch Will "ridin' dirty"
5. 80's Mixes on iPods are the best for road trips!
4. Flipping Leah backwards off a deflating air mattress can never get old
3. New friends, new memories and endless laughs always make me smile
2. Food made with looove always tastes better (but not better than food fed via the airplane method)

And the number one reason I loved this trip...

1. You're never too old for a good 'ole fight-till-you-draw-blood game of spoons!

If this weekend was a preview for how the Labor Day Retreat will be this year, then I can't wait for September! :o)